|First Read||January 03, 2014|
The most pleasant history of Tom a Lincoln, that ever renowned soldier, the Red-Rose Knight.
The writing is SO repetitive and hyperbolic. It's the sort of thing that you could read for fun and laugh at all the way through - but if you were forced to read this for a class you'd be tearing your eyes out. I'm adding a quote here just for a representative sample.
Noted on January 20, 2014
I read this because I will read pretty much anything that involves Prester John, no matter how obscure or dumb. And this is a little of both, but still a fun read in that 'hyperbolic near-medieval travelogue' way.
To save you and my future self the trouble, here's the summary of Prester John's involvement: Tom sails around the world and lands at Prester John's kingdom, where he slays a menacing dragon and is seduced by his sexy, sexy daughter Anglitora (she uses her own nightgown to wash Tom's bloody body after the dragon battle, alone in Tom's chambers!). They run away together, but Anglitora is in general a flighty character. They get married, have a son, and move back to England, but when she finds out that Tom is a bastard (the bastard of King Arthur, but a bastard all the same), she runs away. She hooks up with a stranger in a castle. Tom finds them and visits in disguise, but when Anglitora discovers him she murders him. Tom is avenged when their son, the Black Knight, arrives and murders Anglitora, his own mother.
Noted on January 20, 2014
"Well then," quoth Antonio, "if thy resolution be such, that neither my bitter tears nor my fair intreaties may prevail to withdraw thy vain folly, then know--thou most ungracious impe-- that thou art no son of mine, but sprung from the bowels of some untamed tyger or wild lioness, else wouldest thou humbly submit thy self to my reverent perswasions. From whence thou camest I know not, but sure thy breast harbours the tyranny of some monstrous tyrant from whose loyns thou art naturally descended. Thou art no fruit of my body, for I found thee in thy infancy lying in the fields, cast out as a prey for ravening fowles, ready to be devoured by hunger-starved dogs. But such was my pitty towards thee that I took thee up, and ever since have fostered thee as mine own child. But now such is thy unbridled folly that my kind courtesie is requited with extream ingratitude, which sin, above all others, the immortal powers of Heaven do condemn and the very devils themselves do hate. Therefore, like a serpent, henceforth will I spit at thee, and never cease to make incessant prayers to the justful heavens to revenge this, thy monstrous disobedience."
Quoted on January 20, 2014